The thing is: To let it go to have some more

I have been spending my time writing unspoken feelings about how i wanted a man so badly it hurts a lot. The thing is, it is slightly and explicitly impossible, only God knows why and i’d rather not playing with Its will. I guess, if you don’t want to get burn, don’t play with fire. Even though the temptation is there.

After lots of unmentioned tweet only (again) me and God knows, i finally can slowly release my emotion. Taking the truth, abiding the sick feeling.

***

“Once the reality sucks, i’d prefer to drown deep in my imagination.”

  “Actually, you own your own head. So there’s no such things as blaming others for your miserable   condition.”

“He seems far far away and gladly i do not care. For what i’ve lost my feeling, oh this sad sad thing.”

  “RT @pepatah Kadang lebih baik menjauhi seseorang, bukan karena berhenti mencintainya, namun karena harus melindungi diri dari rasa sakit.”

“Now i try to understand how to understand the unthinkable. Kinda eerie at first but hope it’ll go well. \m/”

  “Under a complexity in a crowded mind. I have driven by the fact it isn’t mine.”

“Dear Head. I just need you to FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS.”

  “Look,you’ve consuming ur time inefficiently for some promising chaos. Better look 4 other useful opportunity behind the shades you’ve made”

“The worst feeling isn’t being lonely. It’s being forgotten by someone you would never forget. -Anon #ihatequotes”

  “Even silence knows how to shout and wrath aware its deadly marks. So why can’t you?”

“Aku bingung menentukan! Antara harus, kulari kehutan atau kulari ke pantai?”

  “I have witness a childish act, a snobbish form and a lovely person. Couldn’t ignore, couldn’t forget no more.”

‘You will never know, coz i will never show’

  “I’m just a pet, to your daily mad. I’d love to step out of your shitty crab.”

“How am i supposed to pretend i never want to see you again?’ -Vampire Weekend”

  “Look, think i’ve had enough of things i’ve seen and stuff. Even though it hurts like hell,hope everything goes well.”

and so

and so

and so.

***

Oh, such a pathetic person. How can i envy something that’s not mine. I mean, it’s like, human. But as one of seven sins ever told me, Greed, “Want more, achieve more, have more. Never give up” – has successfully made me a person that i never expected me to be. And i just realize it, like, a few hours ago. A Greedy person.

***

My logic has gone, my feeling speaks to much. Imbalanced emotion crushed me from the inside.

It’s time to move on! ,my inmost yelled to me.

One has said that, “You’ll get what you need. Not what you want” and that’s exactly what happened to me, every time i want something so bad.

God loves me. It never disappoint me in any way so, why should i doubt it? 🙂  The thing is: to let it go to have some more.

PS to me: Look, have you ever consider the thing called faith? Sometimes what you think isn’t what always happen! (monologue) 

MWAH MWAHH

About Alicemodjo

[copy]writer . illustrator . vocal player living in a place where imagination is the only key to make it real

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