There’s some point where you were just, “OK. This is it. I’ve had enough”. I’m at that point right now. I’m bored with myself.
Three things that can summarize me (left – right): greasy blob fish with glasses – sad potato – sesame loaf that represent the amount of acnes on my face. (all images were taken from google, obv)
In fact, in my desperation, I decided to see the bright side of everything. It’s like half full glass. (Even though if it’s half empty, i’ll just grab the glass anyway to fulfil my thirst). I drew this when I finally reached 3/4 kwintal. I want you to meet Erlsula:
“But you’re not that big”, said someone. “Love yourself just the way you are”, said someone someday. “You just have to exercise”, said someone someday somewhere.
Whatever what people say, you are the one who experience what happen to you. I feel like this body is getting more uncomfortable for me. The combination of unhealthy eating (fried duck, teh botol 3 times a day, gorengan, jeroan, less veggies nor fruits, dendeng batokok cabai hijau, those are like 2% of my favourite food btw), I sleep at almost 3 AM everyday & wake up at 8 AM with 9 different alarms in my cellphones, I don’t like to exercise even though I do yoga (can do yoga twice a year consider as ‘do yoga’?), my period is a mess for months, I got weird stomach ache, I didn’t perform well at the office, I don’t clean my room for almost 3 years and you don’t wanna see the mess I made since I moved from Bandung to Jakarta. Can’t barely see my floor, it was awful and I did nothing.
I did nothing. Yes. I was overwhelmed with all the mess that i made and it got piled up and i’m in a position to ‘get used to it’. I feel that it will eventually over. And i will be happy. I will be happy. I will be happy.
I am not.
Weeks, months, years, trying to get used to the situation. As a human being, you have a limit. Limit is different in some people, mine happen to be now.
Lucky me, I am loved. I am surrounded by supportive people, high-impact people, surrounded by lots of opportunity to learn about many things. In my family, in my workplace. I learn about acceptance, openness, and communicating what you have in mind & how you feel.
Three things that represent how i feel right now would be these (left-right): Jess Glynne inspired drawing – Empowerment Through Self Awareness an Acroyoga Experience (collaboration between Lentera Sintas, Juara, and League) – a beautiful artwork by deraumade that leaves a mark in my heart
So. What is this all about?
This is about me taking a step further towards getting what I want right now: a healthier body. I don’t know about exercise (well, maybe yoga again? We’ll see) but I’ll dedicate the next 14 days in a vegetarian diet.
I don’t like a hungry diet so I spend times thinking about what kind of diet that won’t starve my tummy. Well, by ‘spending times thinking’ actually means the idea is there but I’m not thinking about it. I just let it flow and let myself stumble upon something. And I stumble upon Burgreens.
Actually Burgreens is located very close to my house but you know the “you don’t really care/ pay attention because it’ll be there anyway” kind of thing? Yep. It happened. I was not in a good mood and was bored and was trying to go out and tried things I never get the chance to (or just plain lazy), was the initial story about my first encounter with this place.
At first bite, the idea of “this is it” or what you can also called AHA moment emerged nowhere in my head.
So yeah. Today is the first day I have this 14-day catering & we’ll see where it goes. I don’t promise myself that I will do exercise, I don’t promise myself that I will sleep early and wake up early. What I can promise myself is the fact that I try.
See you all again in the upcoming blog post about the diet journey! I believe it will be fun and silly, as always 🙂
UPDATES per December 31st, 2017:
Just walked through this blogpost again and have something to say. The Burgreens result was:
- The food is delicious (well, 60% of it) especially the on with mushrooms and tempeh. But the veggie noodle (a.k.a veggies cut like a noodle) is not my favourite.
- After 2 weeks I experienced the ‘light’ feeling. Like, something weird happen to my body.
- I didn’t loose weight, but my body felt light. (FELT light, okay. Not became lighter). Anyway, the weight loss isn’t the point. More like how I felt back then.
I’m happy that I tried. I’m happy that I tried 🙂
el.is.in.wonderland 